Good morning friends.
First off, I'm sorry for the little disappearing act last week.
As many of you already know, we had to put out sweet Lola bear to sleep on Thursday and well, after that, I just needed a little sadness time.
I had called the vet on Wednesday, knowing it was time, and that span between the phone call and our appointment the next morning, was absolutely the worst 24 hours of my life...I felt like I was playing god and to watch my dog spend her last day with us, knowing what was coming...well, it was hell...and don't get me started on the agony of trying to explain what was happening to my kids...poor Scarlett was inconsolable and Tasha...well let's just say I've never seen her so sad.
In the end, Lola went very quickly...she was obviously so ready to go and that makes me feel a little more at peace but our house is so damn empty without her...the quiet and lack of chaos, makes for a weird energy and it seems as though most of us just don't know what to do with the silence.
My little Mac said to Scarlett not to be sad because 'in his dream, Lola had no more bumps' and honestly, those words of a 3 year old are helping me buckets. It makes me endlessly happy to imagine her up there in the clouds, all regal and well like in the picture above. I just know she's bounding through the fields, eating all the ice cream and steak she can get her paws on...free of bastard cancer.
And as for yours truly, as of today...
...god I love these cards.
And speaking of the one above, boy did I find out a little piece of dooziness last week.
I'm sure I've complained about feeling crappy on here before.
Maybe I haven't...my brain is mush at the moment.
The short version is that for years, basically ever since I had Scarlett, my body just hasn't been working right...tired, headachey, nerve pain, mental foginess...I could go on...I've seen a bunch of doctors, had 2 CAT scans, more tests than I can possibly describe and at the end of all of it, have been told it's anxiety and to try and relax...at which point, I look at each doctor and want to chop their effing heads off...if I felt good people, I'd be relaxed.
Fast forward to about a month ago when I decide to try out some acupuncture and see naturopath...after 38 years on this planet and not one single doctor thinking to test me for food allergies, the naturopath orders up some very extensive blood work and on Thursday, I got called in for the results.
So...after YEARS OF FEELING LIKE POOPDOGS and not knowing why, it turns out that I have a severe intolerance to milk and eggs, to the point that I actually have an anahaphalactic allergic to both.
Seriously...what the fuck...how could something so simple be missed for SO long?
I'm pissed.
Also, I'm happy...finally, this bullshit is not just in my head...finally, I can do something about it...unfortunately, this change means I have to give up my absolute fave food group...the thought of life without mayo, ricotta, cheese, butter, yogurt, baked goods...well, it's isn't exactly my happy place BUT the thought of feeling great...well, that is my happy place so onwards and upwards....no milk or eggs for this cat.
I guess that sums up my last few days in a nutshell.
In other news, I did burry the food allergy stuff/dog sadness with some weekend projects.
For one, hubster and I spent an entire day fixing up the yard...did buckets of edging, trimming, weeding, planting and the like...and since the deck project is on hold, I souped it up as best as I could for now...
...still want an outdoor rug for under the table but for now, it's looking pretty OK.
I also painted...hubs surprised me with some belated b-day gifts, since I was away on the actual day...this easel was one of them...
...and with it, I was able to get two pieces done...the one above morphed into this...
...and is now up in the shop.
I also, finished this little lady called Belle...
...she'll be framed in gold and listed later today.
Along with the easel, the Mr also took me antiquing on Saturday and insisted that I bring lady cheetah pants home with me as part of the b-day package...
...know as you know, I already have a LARGE ceramic animal collection so even though I've been looking for one of these spotted beauties forever, I had a moment of reservation about adding to the menagerie but...in the end, I just couldn't resist...didn't hurt that I practically stole her either.
I'll have to edit out some of the other creatures in the living room...perhaps they'll find new homes upstairs but in the meantime, Ms C is looking pretty heavenly in her new spot...
...rawr.
And with that, I'll sign off for now with a big thank you kiss/hug...your FB, Instagram, Twitter messages these past few weeks have helped in so many ways...heart you all.
xoxo
first of all i am so so sorry about lola- thinking of you.
ReplyDeletesecondly the same thing just happened to my friend. she is around the same age, and she has been treated for depression... it was always hard to get her out of the hosue because she was tired, etc, and a lot of this happened after she had her girls..... well just last week finally someone figured out she had not only food allergies, but also lyme's! and the thing is, she is a nurse, and understands medical stuff more than most of us, she she was dumbfounded at this new information! insane, yes, but at least now getting treated properly and feeling better are options!
I cried at my desk here at work. Dear Lola is at peace and as I tweeted before, you and your family gave her the best life she could have had. She wouldn't have been half the dog with any other family.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I can't wait to get married, move back to Canada and buy a house so I can live out the dream your blog, home and mad decor skills have planted in my brain.
Oh Christine,
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely picture of Lola! Sending you lots of huge hugs!
xo Michele
I feel for you, we put our dog down about 3 years ago he was so sick and I cried for days, I still miss him like crazy
ReplyDeleteChristine, I'm so sorry to hear about Lola. What a beautiful dog! Your son is right though. I believe they find peace. I bet she is thankful for the time she spent with your loving family!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I didn't know that it was taking place so soon. So sorry to hear the news about Lola.
ReplyDeleteso sorry about Lola and yes, the thought of her now at a better place gives comfort and peace. The words from the little ones ... sometimes they just know it all.
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear that you found out about your food allergy. My colleague had the same situation and who knew people could be allergic to eggs?
It was very sweet of Mr. B&B for the thoughtful birthday gifts. I got hiking boots C for my birthday and was told "Don't you always want hiking boots?" .... hm....
Big hug C! xoxo
ALLERGIES! That actually makes total sense, now. It's really incredible what we can do, naturally, to make our bodies happy. I do hope you'll be able to have a little bread & cheese splurge now and then, though.
ReplyDeleteLove what Mac told Scarlett. Reminds me a lot of the things our 5 y/o says about our lost baby. Kids just get it. Lola is in HER happy place, now.
You're killing it with the paintings, really, really killing it. You and I need to discuss offline how I can go about getting one to Brazil without it costing me a flippin' fortune in shipping.
Take Care, mi amiga.
ag
I'm so sorry to hear about your Lola Christine, I can't imagine how hard that must have been.
ReplyDeleteOn a brighter note, your new painting is stunning! What a wonderful husband you have to buy an easel + the cheetah looks fab! xx
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ReplyDeleteOh Christine - I don't know what to say that could possibly lift your spirits although I'm sure you feel the same way about your kiddos and how they feel too. I am SO sorry about Lola. I, for one, am such a huge believer in animals being a part of the family and like your child and its so so so hard to have to call a shot about their life. I think you are so right about what Max said - imaging Lola in heaven with no bumps. Boy are kids refreshing. I am so sorry this happened, my heart gives you a huge, swelling virtual bear hug. May your heart slowly heal and know shes happy eating lots of treats in heaven.
ReplyDeleteAs for your allergies - I sure hope this helps you mend! I love to hear the advice of eastern medicine practitioners and accupuncturists. So whole and less contrived. good luck to you!
love your Cheetah! love your outside chairs! How well do they hold up outside? are they the panton and Ikea? I love how well they look together.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found the root cause of your maladies. and from here onward.
Aw I am a teary mess after reading about sweet Lola. Our pup has been sick for the past 6 months and I can't help but let my head go the place you've been this week. I am so so sorry for your loss. How sweet is Mac? He knows just what to say. And I am allergic to all diary too (not lactose intolerant, actually allergic) so trust me, I know how you feel. I eat lots of cheeseless pizza. And your new paintings are killing me they are so gorgeous!!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. It is the worst kind of loss, and I hope your heart keeps healing (and finds peace).
ReplyDeletexo
here's the good news...
ReplyDeletego to an N.A.E.T. specialist and they can clear you of your allergies so that you can actually eat them again.
believe it.
your paintings just keep getting better and better.
belle is real pretty.
my cat is named belle. and she's white.
So, so, so sorry hunny! It's funny how you know when it's time. It's in their eyes!
ReplyDeleteTime will heal and before you know it there will be another bundle of fluff in your life and it starts all over again. You will you know. Even if you say "we will never have another one, it hurts too much"! You still will. If you are dog people, you are dog people, simple as.
Hope the days get easier for you!
Di
x
So sorry you had to say goodbye to Lola. Love that photo of her. But how awesome is Mac? Kids have a way of speaking the truth.
ReplyDeleteAnd allergies? How awesome that you finally found out and you're on the road to feeling better. Hopefully many other great things start to come your way. xo.
i am so so sorry about, lola. i know what it's like to put a beloved pet down and my heart goes out to you. so glad you figured out what has been ailing you!! isn't it crazy how much food can affect you physically?? um and LOVE the cheetah!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about Lola :( I hope you feel better. Such a sweet thing for your son to say, its so amazing how their innocent little hearts can say the most comforting a simplistic things in tough times like that
ReplyDeleteTake your time and allow yourself to just be sad when you wan't to be sad.
Also drop that cheetah off at my house asap!
Raiana
lifeSTYLE
So hard to lose a beloved pet. I've been in your shoes a few times over the past several years - it never gets easier. I'm sure your Lola knew she was loved - and isn't that the greatest gift you could have given her?
ReplyDeletewww.chattafabulous.blogspot.com
christine, I think you need a break. A break in the form of a trip to Calgary. Please?? =)) I'm glad everything went smoothly with Lola. You did the right thing, even though making that horrible decision is so hard.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your sweet Lola...I guess your son said it best, wisdom from kids is the best! As for your allergies, my mother was the same way, and they discovered very late about her allergies, now she got used to a change in diet, im not saying its easy, but with time you get used to it , the most important is that you feel better :).....And love the paintings! Hugs...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your sweet dog. And the allergies. I recently found out that gluten/grain sensitivities can cause a lot of the same problems and by voluntarily cutting out all dairy and grains from my diet all my little aches and pains as well as fatigue are going away. Maybe a peek at robbwolf.com could give you some ideas of recipes to try? Once you get used to a new way of eating it's really not that hard, mainly because you feel good :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Christine. I am so very sorry for all that you're going through.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to lose our pets. People who don't have pets don't seem to understand the connection - that unconditional love they offer us, even when we're too busy or too tired to offer it in return. I believe your lovely Lola is in a beautiful peaceful place. It's extraordinary that your son had a dream about that! He is so right!
As far as your health concerns go, I'm so glad you found a doctor to listen to you. As women we are all too often treated like we're just "tired moms" with typical issues. I went to a fantastic female doctor who actually listened to my concerns when I was feeling bad last year. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's (a hypothyroid disease), hypoglycemia, and VERY low iron. Other docs had just thought I was depressed and stressed out. Another reason for us to always trust our instincts!
Many good thoughts for and your family!
Sorry about Lola. Our dog is nearing his end as well and I am cherishing all the slobbery hair moments.
ReplyDeleteAs for the allergies. Crumb. My sister has psoriasis and found out it was from allergies after also seeing a homeopathic Dr. She has followed an alkaline diet and has found her skin sensitivities are almost gone, she looks healthy and lost most of her baby weight! Good luck finding the new normal for yourself!
Despite your deck on hold, the chairs and table combo are fabulous. Rugs USA has great outdoor rug options for very little and they are always on sale. And they ship to Canada for free (except duty of course)
Sending you hugs from way over here!
I'm heartbroken for you. So hard to lose a pet.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend with the same allergy! I hope you find some way to have yummy baked goods!
that good very nice Beautiful pics! :-) i like
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you... it's so hard to say good-bye to a family pet. As for the food allergies... we don't do dairy or eggs either... you'll be surprised at how much you won't even miss them. Feeling great is SO worth it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about Lola. Nobody wants to go through that. But at least she isn't suffering anymore, and I'm sure she's having the time of her life wherever it is she's at right now. Lots of hugs to you and your family!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your paintings just keep getting better and better, and I can't wait to see a full tour of your home! Every little detail and image you post is just sooooooo gorgeous!!! :)
my heart aches for you and i can't even imagine how hard the children must be taking this loss...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that you've lost Lola. I knew it was coming, but didn't realize that it had happened. As a dog owner myself and having worked as a veterinary technician, it is the good pet owners that make that difficult decision. I know it was hell for you, but it really was the last gift you could give your precious girl. Far too often when I worked as a vet tech I would see owners prolong the decision (or worse, not make it at all) due to putting themselves before their pet. It is our responsibility to them and you did right by your girl. And now it is time to heal. I know she has left behind a big hole. Hang in there and please know that you did right by her.
ReplyDeletexx
Kecia
http://www.couturezooblog.com/
I'm writing you this note on vacation, *that* is how much I love you girl and enjoy your blog (c: I'm so sorry about Lola, but thank goodness for the kiddos who are so much closer to the guy upstairs...sometimes I think they understand things so much better than we do. Sending you bloggy hugs and wishing you good Lola dreams to calm down your "allergies" (c; Buckets o' love.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about Lola.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon.
Information at these links might be helpful
Health Concerns About Dairy Products from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM)
http://www.pcrm.org/search/?cid=252
For more information on the effects of dairy in the diet, visit the PCRM web site and search on 'milk.'
PCRM has petitioned the federal government to remove milk as a required food from the school lunch program due to health problems related to it.
http://www.pcrm.org/media/news/petition-usda-remove-milk-required-school-lunches
Chicken and eggs are the top sources of arachidonic acid in the diet, an omega 6 fatty acid involved in our body's inflammatory response
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0ap3dVC-LM
After several weeks of not eating eggs and dairy products, the interest in them fades
Also see ~
Forks Over Knives
http://www.forksoverknives.com/about/
Meat.org has videos related to these issues
Paul McCartney and Alec Baldwin narrate
http://www.meat.org/
"Earthlings"
Narrated by Joaquin Phoenix
http://earthlings.com/
KO
Oh Christine. I am so sorry about sweet Lola. A dog is part of the family and anyone who says otherwise does not know the true heart of a dog. My breath still catches when I think of my sweet Sunny and sweet Piper, both of whom died at age 6. The sweetest, most loving labs in the whole world, whose short lives had more honest love that some humans who outlive them by 100 years. Hugs, my friend.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear about Lola, there is nothing like the unconditional love of a great friend of a dog...truly the best kind!
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon....sending hugs your way!
Hugs! I'm so sorry about Lola. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm SO glad you went to a naturopath!!!! Mine has made a huge difference in my life! There's this saying that food can either be the best medicine or the worst poison - and it's absolutely true!
It may take a little time - but here's hoping you're feeling awesomesauce really soon.
Xo,
Shannon
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ReplyDeleteOh Christine, I am so sorry to hear about Lola! It is incredibly tough to lose a pet like that and I'll keep you guys in my thoughts this week.
ReplyDeleteFood allergies are just exploding lately! The amount of people I know with celiac disease is up to like 5 or 6 up from 1 or 2 last year. Totally nuts. Hope you feel better!! (and be glad it's not gluten, because I don't know how people live without carbs ahaha)
Love the cheetah, and LOVE Belle!!! So wish school debt was not a priority right now or that beauty would be mine!
Hope this week is filled with better news!!!!
xoxoxoxo Britt
so sorry about lola. about to go through the same process with my westie, and it hurts.
ReplyDeletere: the allergies- I had to cut dairy from my diet and it changed my life! My skin is so much brighter, I actually sleep, and everything feels rosier. I practically grilled the staff at Whole Foods for advice and found a few foods that I can enjoy sans dairy & eggs. So Delicious Coconut Milk and coffee creamer are fantastic, as is Earth Balance 'butter'. These two alone open up a million possibilities for baking ect. Also- I found that I wasnt senstive to Goats dairy and that was awesome news. CHEESE! One last tidbit- Oreos are dairy free! And the minty ones are just like Girl Scout cookies! Now thats something to smile about! :)
You, my friend, are incredible talented. I do believe I need to purchase one of your pieces
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm sorry for the loss of Lola. I guarantee she's munching on a big ol steak as we speak!
So sorry to hear about Lola. We totally understand you, the love that you guys have for Lola, she will always know and always remember it! We have a dog as well and i absolutely agree w/ you ...diamonds aren't necessaily a girls bf....i can totally related to that.
ReplyDeleteOh Christine, what a heavy weekend. That is hard news about Lola, but yes, she is no longer suffering and she no doubt led a very wonderful life. The allergies thing sucks, but at least you finally have something concrete to make you feel better! I so hope it works for you. Hugs, Lisa
ReplyDeleteChristine, you've been on my mind... I'm sorry about Lola. Furry friends hold a special place for me & my family: a relationship unlike any other but filling our hearts just as our loved ones do. I'm sorry about the pick up mixed in there:: happy to hear you got some test results and hopefully you begin to feel better soon. Hugs ~
ReplyDelete